Mayor Richard Daley

The character Bart on The Simpsons cartoon TV show loves pranking Moe Szyslak, the bartender voiced by Hank Azaria, by calling his bar and asking for Seymour Butts to be paged. Moe walks around, holding the phone, shouting out in his raspy voice,“ Seymour Butts, phone call for Seymour Butts” while young Bart laughs hysterically in the receiver. In April 2008, a study by researchers at the University of Wolverhampton in England found that the oldest recorded joke*, from 1900 B.C. in Sumeria, now southern Iraq, was about female flatulence. (The joke is copied at the end of the blog. I did not find it funny.) This affirms that scatological humor has been around for at least 4,000 years. Mayor Richard Daley has made Chicago the “butt of jokes” internationally with his quote last week in response to a question of a reporter from “The Reader” asking how effective Chicago’s gun ban has been. “If I put this up your butt, you’ll find out how effective it is,” Mayor Daley said as he picked up a rifle and answered a reporter who questioned the effectiveness of the city’s gun ban. Toilet humor aside, the answer makes no sense. If criminals have guns in their possession to put up someone’s butt, then the ban is not effective. All the stories on the subject have dealt with the horror of the mayor of the third largest city in America using the word, “butt.” No one has dealt with what he meant by it. In his apology the next day he said,” We have to rouse the American public. Maybe I shocked everybody, and maybe you realize it now, how guns kill and destroy and injure people on a daily basis,” he said. “It’s something you can’t laugh at.” He might have shocked people with his use of the word “butt,” but he still has not answered the question about the effectiveness of gun control. He further demonstrated his stupidity with a repartee about the gun he had picked up as a demonstration model. “It was a gun with a bayonet,” Daley said. “Just think, a gun with a bayonet. What is a bayonet used for?” When he was told that bayonets are not for sticking in rear ends, Daley replied, “Well, you stick it anyplace. It’s a bayonet, so let’s not make trivia about this.” How could he not know what a bayonet is used for? Maybe because the word had more than four letters he was confused. The Mayor is worried that the Supreme Court will overturn the decades old handgun ban. They have heard oral arguments and we are now awaiting a ruling which is expected in June. Mayor Daley said that if the ban is overturned he might move to require gun registration, ballistics tests, purchase of liability insurance and a training course for people who buy firearms. I agree with him on all of his points. I am a proponent of gun control; but what he suggests is useless against criminals having guns. His requirements would only make it tougher for law abiding citizens to own guns; it would do nothing to combat illegal street guns. In light of all the interest paid to the Mayor’s “butt” remark, little attention was brought to his comment about hoping the Supreme would rule in his favor. “Maybe they’ll see the light of day. Maybe one of them will have an incident and they’ll change their mind overnight,” he said. Does that sound like an Al Capone type threat? If an ordinary citizen, waiting for a Supreme Court ruling, talked about an “incident” occurring against a Judge he would be arrested for threatening intimidation. But nobody has paid much notice to Da Mayor saying it. Somebody should tell U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald; but we all know what happens to whistleblowers in Chicago. They get a proverbial bayonet up their butt.

*First recorded joke,1900 B.C.(which makes no sense to me): “Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”

Read More From Kathy Posner Here…..

The Girls Of Rick’s

Rick’s Cabaret, New York City’s premier Gentlemen’s Club, is hosting a three night Hawaiian Luau event, May 2nd – May 4th, 2010. Over 100 Beautiful Showgirls, Tiki Bar Specials, Polynesian Food, Hawaiian “Royalty,” and more! Mikale Kamali’i, aka the “Big Coconut,” the Honorary Mayor of Hoolehua, will be in attendance. Renowned for his mystical powers and a specialist at the sacred ceremony of “Cracking the Coconut,” Mr. Kamali’i, 78, hails from the quaint village of Hoolehua, just off Highway 460 on the coast of Moloka’i, Hawaii’s fifth largest island. “I have never left the island, and I am deeply proud to visit Rick’s Cabaret in New York City at the invitation of my beautiful great granddaughter, Kaliana, the first member of our family to become a professional lap dancer,” he boasts. “I have not seen my great grandfather in many years,” says 21 year-old Rick’s Cabaret Girl “Kaliana, “and it will be an honor to present him to my esteemed colleagues at Rick’s Cabaret. I know everyone is going to love him, especially when he recreates the traditional ‘Cracking of the Coconut’ ritual, as we launch the luau. It’s very similar to the American tradition of throwing out the first ball at a baseball game, but much more spiritual and poignant,” she adds. Mr. Kamali’i will receive his first lap dance ever, from one of the 100 beautiful Rick’s Cabaret Girls who will be performing in sexy, skimpy Polynesian accented outfits.“I got one of those little bras made of coconut shells, and I’ll be wearing it with my grass skirt,” says 21 year-old dancer Alicia. “It’s going to be so much fun,” adds 22 year-old dancer Cynthia “and it’s such a great escape from the real world! My outfit is super hot, and I can’t wait to do the hula dance topless.” Rick’s customers will receive complimentary admission on Sunday from 4PM until 10PM and on Monday and Tuesday from 11AM until 10PM, and will be treated to giveaways, cocktail specials and Luau food specials. There will be bathing beauties galore, dancers in sexy, traditional Island costumes, South Sea Islands décor and more… His royalty and shaman status aside, Big Coconut is still just an old rascal at heart. “I am very much looking forward to admiring the female bodies, and receiving my first lap dance ever,” he said with a devilish smile, “and visiting the Tiki Bar.”

Joe Jonas With Demi Lovato

Taylor Lautner

Will Smith

Selena Gomez

School Gyrls

Rosario Dawson

Nikki Reed

Nathan Kress

Marlee Matlin

Maria Bello And Sons

M. Night Shymalan

Katy Perry

Jackson Rathbone

Erin Sanders

David Spade

Chris Rock With Family

Jackie Chan With Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith And Family

Ariel Winter

Ariana Grande along with Ariel Winter, Selena Gomez, Shaun White, Molly McCook, Sammi Hanratty, School Gyrls, Rosario Dawson, Rihanna, Miranda Cosgrove, David Spade, Keke Palmer, Katy Perry, Jackson Rathbone, Demi Lovato, Chris Rock,Cory Monteith, Will Smith, Jackie Chan, Ashley Argota, Avion Baker, and many more stars attended the Nickelodeon’s 23rd Annual Kids’ Choice Awards Pauley Pavilion, UCLA, Westwood, California last night.
Photos By: RD / Kirkland / Retna Digital

Kids’ Choice Awards winners 2010
*DENOTES WINNERS

MOVIES:

Favorite Movie:

*Alvin and The Chipmunks:The Squeakquel
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
X-men Origins: Wolverine

Favorite Movie Actor:

Zac Efron (17 Again)
*Taylor Lautner (The Twilight Saga:New Moon)
Shia LeBeouf (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)
Tyler Perry (Madea Goes to Jail)

Favorite Animated Movie:

A Christmas Carol
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Monsters vs. Aliens
*Up

Favorite Movie Actress:

Sandra Bullock (The Proposal, The Blind Side)
*Miley Cyrus (Hanna Montana: The Movie)
Megan Fox (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen)
Zoe Saldana (Avatar)

Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie:

*Jim Carrey (A Christmas Carol)
Seth Rogan (Monsters vs. Aliens)
Ray Romano (Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs)
Reese Witherspoon (Monsters vs. Aliens)

MUSIC:

Favorite Song:

“I Gotta Feeling” (Black Eyed Peas)
“Paparazzi” (Lady Gaga)
“Party in the USA” (Miley Cyrus)
*”You Belong With Me” (Taylor Swift)

Favorite Male Singer:

*Jay-Z
Sean Kingston
Mario
Ne-Yo

Favorite Music Group:

*Black Eyed Peas
Coldplay
Jonas Brothers
Linkin Park

Favorite Female Singer:

Beyonce
Miley Cyrus
Lady Gaga
*Taylor Swift

TELEVISION:

Favorite TV Show:

*iCarly
Sonny With A Chance
The Suite Life on Deck
Wizards of Waverly Place

Favorite Reality Show:

*American Idol
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
So You Think You Can Dance?
Wipeout

Favorite Television Actress:

Miranda Cosgrove
Miley Cyrus
*Selena Gomez
Keke Palmer

Favorite Television Actor:

Joe Jonas
Nick Jonas
Cole Sprouse
*Dylan Sprouse

Favorite Cartoon:

The Penguins of Madagascar
Phineas & Ferb
The Simpsons
*SpongeBob SquarePants

SPORTS:

Favorite Male Athlete:

Kobe Bryant
LeBron James
*Ryan Sheckler
Shaun White

Favorite Female Athlete:

Danica Patrick
*Misty May Treanor
Serena Williams
Venus Williams

OTHER CATEGORIES:

Favorite Video Game:

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
*Mario Kart
Wii Fit
Wii Sports Resort

Favorite Book:

*Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
Twilight series
Vampire Diaries series
Where the Sidewalk Ends

Cutest Couple:

Edward & Bella (Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart) from The Twilight Saga: New Moon
*Jacob & Bella (Taylor Lautner & Kristen Stewart) from The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Neytiri & Jake (Zoe Saldana & Sam Worthington) from Avatar
President Obama & Michelle Obama

More trouble for Sandra Bullock’s husband Jesse James. He is facing more scandal. Court papers have emerged from a sexual harassment lawsuit in 2000, which levied a series of lurid allegations against him. Sandra is rumored to have moved out of the home she shared with James last week after tattooed model Michelle McGee went public with allegations she had an affair with James last year. Even more women have come forward claiming affairs with James, and a recent gossip report alleged the star was embroiled in a sexual harassment scandal in 2007 while he was married to Bullock. A female employee accused him of making sexual advances towards her and sending suggestive emails. Celebrity website TMZ.com reported that no lawsuit was filed and James allegedly settled the dispute for a reported $700,000. And now public records have emerged that link James to a separate sexual harassment lawsuit in 2000. Deann McClung, who formerly worked at James’ West Coast Choppers company, filed suit alleging he exposed his genitalia to her, “touched and/or attempted to touch” her without her consent, and made sexual and degrading comments towards her and other women. The complaint was filed in April 2000 at Los Angeles Superior Court, but was dismissed in May 2001 at the request of both parties’ attorneys, according to E! Online.

Photos By: Sara De Boer/Retna

GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS®
LAUNCHES SEARCH FOR THE NEXT TALLEST WOMAN
Record-Breaking Authority Invites Tall Females From
Across the Globe to Submit Measurements
Photos By: ANN WATT Society-Photos.com
****

Kim Blacklock Measured By Jamie Panas Of
The Guinness World Records

Kim Blacklock (6’5 ½”)

Guinness World Records is looking high and low in every corner of the globe to fill the coveted title of Tallest Living Woman and kicked-off its International search with the Tall Club of New York City. To help celebrate the commencement of this International search, several lengthy members from the tri-state area gathered at NYC’s Pranna Restaurant on Madison Avenue. Stuart Claxton, official Guinness World Records judge conducted interviews, and Jamie Panas measured tall candidates. The Tall Club of New York City, founded by Ann Watt in 1992, home to loftiest men and women in the NY metro area said, “We are that dozens of the clubs tallest were on hand to kick off the search.” The tallest woman at Friday’s event, Kim Blacklock stood 6’5 ½” and holds the title as the World’s Tallest Female Comic. Athletes, models, and adults of various professions enjoy looking eye-to-eye as members of the club (men 6’2″+ and women 5’10″+). Currently the club is 85% single (marrieds must join as a couple). For a calendar of events which highlights several activities per month, check out the website at and for a chance to be included in the Guinness World Records 2011 edition, submit your record proposal HERE.

Lindsay Lohan has filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit over an advertisement which allegedly used her name and parodied her life for profit. Lindsay is seeking $100 million in damages and compensation over the commercial from the financial firm E-Trade, which depicts a baby girl called Lindsay as a boyfriend stealer and a “milkaholic”, according to the New York Post.
The commercial shows a baby boy playing the stock market and apologising to his girlfriend for not calling her the night before.The baby girl then gets suspicious about a rival female baby, referring to her as “that milkaholic Lindsay”. Lohan filed the lawsuit yesterday in Nassau County Supreme Court over the advert, which debuted on television during the Super Bowl last month. Lindsay’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, is claiming Lohan’s first name is just as recognizable as other single-word monikers, used by stars such as Madonna and Oprah. Ovadia says, “Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit. They used the name Lindsay. They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody’s talking about it and saying it’s Lindsay Lohan.” The lawyer alleges company bosses used Lohan’s “name and characterisation” without paying her or asking for her approval, thus violating her rights. Ovadia also is insisting the company has earned large profits from the promo because it would have been seen by millions of television viewers watching the Super Bowl. But chiefs at the advertising firm which created the commercial for E-Trade are dismissing the claims, insisting they chose the name Lindsay at random. Chris Brown, a spokesperson for the Grey Group, says they “just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team.” Lindsay is seeking $50 million in exemplary damages, as well as $50 million in compensation.

Editors Extra: This is so stupid, this case should be thrown out of court. Maybe I’ll start suing everyone that uses the name James. And Lindsay is famous for drinking other things, not milk!

Photo By: Sara De Boer/Retna

Chicago’s Kathy Posner

Illegal prostitution exploits women; legalized prostitution empowers women by giving them control over the use of their own sexuality. No man has ever offered me money in exchange for sex; and I doubt at this point in my life it will ever happen. I won’t claim that I would turn down a sufficient enough offer if one ever came my way; we all have a price it is just the negotiation levels that will differ.I also have never paid for sex. No female needs to. A man will readily and randomly have sex with anything that is breathing and warm; and sometimes warm is not even a requirement. If there are 150 million heterosexual men in America over the age of 18; a woman could find 149,999,999 men who will have sex for gratis with her. The only man who would possibly turn her down is George Clooney who has a wide range of women he can choose from and thus can be more discriminating.So why would a woman pay for sex from a stranger when so much free sex is available?The state of Nevada has just granted approval for the first legalized male prostitute who started work this week. Marcus (no last name) set up shop at the Shady Lady Ranch (www.shadyladyranch.com) which is located 30 miles north of Beatty, an unincorporated township of less than 1,200 people between Las Vegas and Reno. The brothel web site touts that they have been voted the “Best Small Brothel” for seven years. I have no idea who voted in those surveys, but I have no reason not to believe the honor.In an Associated Press story Marcus (pictured above) described himself, “as a well-read college dropout and former U.S. Marine from Alabama. He said he drove to Los Angeles to become a porn actor and left after filming two scenes, the first about a month ago. He said he ended up in a homeless shelter near Santa Monica, Calif., after being unable to find another job. Shady Lady Madam Bobbi Davis picked him from about 10 potential hires culled from hundreds of applications, many featuring crude inquiries, according to her husband and co-owner Jim. Part of Markus’ appeal was that he was not afraid to deal with heavy publicity.” One concern about the first male prostitute is discrimination because Marcus says he will only have sex with women. The legal female prostitutes are upset. A 22-year-old prostitute at Angel’s Ladies named “Cuddles” said Markus’ unwillingness to see gay males makes the Shady Lady seem sexist and discriminatory. “How can you just turn down services because of what someone’s preferences is? It comes with the territory. It comes with the business,” she said. Another problem, according to AP, is diseases. “George Flint, a longtime lobbyist for the Nevada Brothel Owners Association (which the Shady Lady Ranch is not a member of), said allowing a male prostitute creates legitimate health concerns. Male customers are thoroughly cleaned and inspected for signs of disease before sex at Nevada’s brothels, and he doesn’t believe the same “fanaticism” is possible when checking female customers.” The Shady Lady Ranch charges $200 for 40 minutes and $300 per hour. They do not say exactly what services one receives for the pricing. If Marcus ejaculates in the first five minutes and can no longer perform his manly duties; does one get a refund? At least when I spend $200 at the beauty salon; I get the full haircut.
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David Letterman

A New York Supreme Court Judge yesterday upheld the indictment of a CBS News producer charged with trying to extort late-night host David Letterman, rejecting the defense’s effort to dismiss the case. Attorneys for Robert Joel Halderman, who is accused of demanding $2 million in exchange for a screenplay treatment he wrote about affairs Letterman had with female staffers, had sought to get the court to drop the charge of attempted grand larceny in the first degree. Judge Charles H. Solomon said prosecutors had met their burden of proof, and he rejected the defense’s claim that Halderman’s constitutional right to free speech had been violated.
Photo By: Walter McBride/Retna